Being a pastor is tough enough without having to constantly prove your worth to finicky folks, and judgmental church elders and congregants. I'd say, for about the last twenty of my adult years, my lack of formal credentials left me feeling like a spiritual imposter. I knew the Good Book inside and out, but apparently that wasn’t enough for some folks. I need something that most others already have, a regal title, an updated, stronger social media presence, a better biography. I think I've found it, but that dodgy doctorate degree I found online, for cheap, Maybe not the wisest idea.? Though, who’s to say. So read on to find out how taking a shortcut put you on the righteous path after all. God works in mysterious ways.
How I Bought an Online Doctorate of Divinity Degree
After one too many sideways glances at my bio in the weekly bulletin, I actually said aloud "enough is enough." I mean, wouldn't you be tired, if your congregation was looking at you like some uneducated yokel, never mind that you’d been faithfully shepherding their souls for over 20 years.
Late one night, in a fit of frustration and defiance, I went snooping online to buy the quickest and cheapest doctorate of divinity degree I could find, of course, I compared purchasing one, to the many years and thousands of dollars of Seminary study. At this time, it was an easy choice for me. A few keywords later, I found DegreeMajor experience degrees, and for a couple hundred bucks and the price of a few-finger calories worth of "mouse-clicking", I could be the newly minted “Reverend Doctor.” Hallelujah! They claim it's 100% based on my life experience, furthermore, there's no testing, study, or any attendance. Email wasn't enough, I wanted to chat, or call a representative. I was quickly in touch with Mark via text messaging. I uploaded my resume and other details, and continued to buy my D.Div. degree.
Within a week, my official-looking Divine Doctoral degree arrived in the mail. I proudly displayed it in my office, waiting to see if Cheryl (my assistant) or my colleague had noticed.
They did not, which was no surprise, but, what was a surprising fact, was that I felt a new vigor and purpose for myself. The power, it seems, was in me all along. I may have obtained my divinity Doctorate in a (dare I say?) "unscrupulous way", but it made me feel "somewhat" official, at least for my new-found self esteem. The diploma was superlative, in every way. It was quite large, what I expected a post-graduate parchment to be for size. It had raised ink, very nice to feel the lettering, five signatures, whereas, others I've spotted has two :) also, the University seal was fully embossed into a gold and red foil. I love it!
In a way, I came out the other end a better shepherd. Goes to show that even questionable choices can have unexpectedly positive outcomes. Now who’s up for passing the collection plate again so we can get our devoted reverend some new business cards? After all, we can’t have a Doctor of Divinity without the title to match. Let’s give it up for the new and improved man of the cloth! And remember: even if you don’t have the sheepskin to prove it, with faith and perseverance, anyone can find their flock.
My Purchased Divinity Degree Online Inspired Me to Become a Better Pastor
When that dubious Doctoral diploma arrived in the mail, something changed in me. Call it inspiration, motivation or delusion, but, suddenly, I felt like a real man of the cloth! Just to see the framed magnificence on my wall gives me inspiration to wake earlier, plan better, and to make time, to witness to more individuals and groups. My congregation may have had their doubts, but this “Dr. of Divinity” was ready to take his ministry to the next level. Honestly, I'm a master at my craft, but with a family and so many obligations, and time constraints, it was just easier to buy that piece of paper, admittedly, I did think about buying a real looking fake degree.
Getting My Divine Counsel On
First, I started offering extra sessions online, for “pastoral, and crisis counseling” Hey, if I’m a doctor, I can dole out advice, right? Turns out, people have problems. Who knew? While I’m no Dr. Phil, lending an ear and doling out the occasional platitude seemed to help. Bless their hearts, they even started donating for my “services”.
Now when people call me ‘Reverend, I hold my head a little higher. I'll be always trying to live my best life, and some of this is thanks to that cheap doctorate I bought online, on a whim. Maybe those online degrees aren’t so dodgy after all!